yes, autumn.

I will need to always remember how I felt this fall, with no outside influence to my overwhelmingly nostalgic happiness. Nostalgia comes from something. Mine came from the colors of this autumn. Okay, so there's some influence--But I experienced this on my own. A single body did not affect my joy or how spiritually connected I surprisingly felt to the way this autumn danced around. I wanted to share with someone how I felt driving down 'A' street almost every day. I wanted to take a mental picture and just lodge it into the memory folder of my brain. I'm not sure I have one of those, and I'm sure I won't be able to keep this perfect image forever, and I'm pretty sure I won't know how I felt until i feel it again. Until next fall. But maybe next fall it will be bitter and white. Maybe next fall I'll be in Spain and the leaves won't speak the language of Nebraska leaves.
There is nothing like a solitary tree with three different shades of orange, distantly fading into yellow, and then to green. I prefer not to think of the terrifying reasons why the leaves stayed on the trees so long this year. I prefer to think they knew I needed that long kind of autumn. I prefer to think they knew I needed something to hold me through this last stretch of 2010, in Nebraska.......in, yes in Nebraska.

red, read.

I will graduate
and then I will read!
I will read books
I would like read
..here ^^
okay or just anywhere.

helping a friend out for a class

This Girl ^^

1) Community is a group of people, all with the desire for a strong collective relationship, and with at least some sort of emotional ties to each other or to the community they've formed. I'm sayin they love each other and they love (or have grown some sort of connection to) what they're about!
2) I maintain relationships in my communities by staying involved and by staying present. I think one can easily lose their sense of community if they begin to become more selfish than not. Being a part of a community and maintaining those relationships requires a high amount of solidarity and a low amount of jealousy.

tokyo, a place i'd like to GO

I lived in Nebraska and then I didn’t because my mom and dad and I drove to New Jersey. We drove there and then for two years I made frequent visits to New York City. For two years I went to a museum or two and I saw people sing and dance. I spent many patriotic holidays on Long Beach Island. I slept on the floor in Philadelphia. I drove with myself to Washington D.C., I saw Delaware and poverty. I drove with my mom and dad through Amish Country. Once I flew to New Orleans to volunteer, then I drove to New Orleans again because I missed it. And I wanted to dance. I moved, because I had to. I flew to South Africa and we stopped in Senegal. I rode a horse into Lesotho. I floated from a plane to the ground in Mossel Baai. I took drunken taxi rides. I drove the Garden route to Cape Town with a charming boy and we stared at the ocean. I went in the ocean. Naked? Twice. I ran and I biked in South Africa. I spent 14 hours blind on a public bus. I moved to Nebraska. I road-tripped to Austin and back in a weekend and I flew to San Francisco to break up the monotony. I drove with 'The Douche' from Nebraska to New York City, then I took the train a couple times from New Jersey to New York. I New Years Eve’d at a pizza shop in Brooklyn. I came back home and I camped in the mountains of Colorado. I flew to Haiti. I rode in the back of a truck across Haiti. I ran in Haiti. I swam in the ocean in Haiti and I played soccer. I flew to Israel. I hiked across Israel. I swam in the ocean in Israel, twice. Naked? Once. I drove to Nashville to break up the monotony, and I wanted to dance. I slept in a car in St. Louis. I camped in the mountains of Colorado, again, and I did because the autumn is absolutely radiant.

everyone goes to haiti

it's amazing how many people i interact with that have some sort of connection to haiti. during my one couch surfing experience in may, the two sisters i stayed with had both been to haiti numerous times. i met ben welstead, a missionary that goes to haiti once a year and the guy who designed and screen printed the t-shirts for our fundraiser, the DAY i was needing to find a screenprinter. the week before i left i was trying to find Mountains Beyond Mountains at the bookstore and was swept into conversation with the girl next to me who had just finished the book and was preparing for haiti. this morning i bumped into a girl at the farmers market who had heard i went, and had been there herself in march and now we're going to practice kreyol together. everyone goes to haiti it'ssoooawesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

i am just not a blogging kind of gal and i've stuggled with keeping a journal basically my entire life, however! i have really been enjoying writing while in haiti, and now that i'm home it just feels good to continue.

transitioning back home will always be more difficult. i completely understand culture shock, but will always be from returning back to the states. lots of white people. lots of people upset that their food took too long to be served...lots of worrying about petty issues. lots of self analyzation. lots of alone time. lots of anxiety over how to talk about how haiti was. lots of iced coffee. lots of preparation for israel. lots of excitement yet lots discomfort with my beautifully decorated apartment. it's been decided, by me, that giving yourself some time to..relax.. after traveling to haiti before jumping back to your own reality is a good idea.

The e-mail i received yesterday from Samuel. Could anything have made me happier? There's no way:

for you laura

how are laura you arrived.Im happy many.

you see mother you Im happy.you sey mother you have one friend.

I always Go house oLes .Thank you for Tout Thing you Give Me.

Im Go to the beach with kres

friend you samuel


beautiful.

Flamamallamamaa

not enough time to really write right now, but i know if i don't just write about this now it'll keep slipping into the back of my mind, and that is how PROUDDDDDD SO SO SO SO SO PROUD i am of my friend Patrick. two days ago keegan and i spoke with him about creating a barbor shop business. we had gone to his house a few days before to get him to come to the beach with us, and he was in the middle of cutting some hair. i had no idea that was something he did for people around this community. sooo then two days ago when we were talking, we learned that there are quite a few barbor shops on this road, one in this community, one in the next. they all charge 10 haitian dollars a cut. we said, so then you should charge 8!!--this could be good for him..or not so good. it's a bad idea if it'll cause problems in the community, competitive problems. what patrick needs is enough people to come get their hair cut so that he can actually save the money he makes, instead of spending it on water for his garden, like he is now. i drew him a picture of what i thought an awesome 'ti ky'--small house--would be like on his parents property, i told him he should make one. the next day, ye (yesterday)--he comes over and says 'come to my house'--so keegan and i go and he MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE A HOUSE FOR HIS BARBOR SHOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!! i was and am and will be forever so happy about that. especially because people don't seem to have much faith in others around here..and some people said he wouldn't do it. and then he just did it completely by himself and with materials from his mom's garden. it looks amazing, and he let us sit and take photos and hang out while he gave his brother, Jhonny, his first haircut in his new shop. his mom was there, so smiley. she loved it too. i'm making her a purse/knap sack out of a skirt i brought that i hope she'll find use with.--keegs is giving him a pair of good scissors we may or may not be taking from the guest house we're staying at, and i got him a few new combs at the market today so hopefully these things can be a little extra push for him to stay motivated and cut hair! love it. so much.