eating mangos frozen, pouring beeswax into foundations, leveling ply wood, finding comfort in the shade, finding comfort while petting a new pup, finding comfort while listening to a wise man speak.
when i go home, people will ask "how was Haiti!?"--they may ask what i did, what lessons i've learned, how port au prince looked form the quake. i find these to be such difficult questions because i don't know what people want to hear, and that makes me uneasy. sometimes i know people ask questions just because they are socially conditioned to. if a friend says, 'i just got back from new zealand,' i will immediately respond with 'oh! how was it!?'--it's habit and it's appropriate. so how was haiti? i don't think i'll ever be ready to respond, and that could totally be my fault. but i become attached very easily and i also am apt to create a bias against people that are less informed. maybe i just want to keep these experiences to myself. talking about these things, for me, only seems right to maybe my mom and dad--people that i know care about what i'm doing and what i've seen. a random friend at a coffee shop..i don't necessarily feel like it's wasting my time, but i think that if i talk and talk and talk about it, then it will become less real, and i don't want to forget my experiences. i want to keep them with me and not spit them out all over the lincoln air.
ALSO, i will feel differently in probably 30 minutes. that's just what i do sometimes.
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